Transmissions from behind the world.285

stardate: 573498.285

Today was really bad.

My involuntary personal transposition to closely parallel space-time dimensions, which was less frequent when I was among the Rasta-Christians, began to increase in frequency. I would have thought myself safer since no hunter can track a truly random transposition. But it seems that the transpositions are all of a kind. I seem to be locked into a group of parallel worlds where the State is profoundly supreme. My geas has not been released and the nano-plague is still coursing it's way through my body and even altering my thoughts. Today I transposed while awake for the first time.

One hour I was working hard at work and finishing my shift, and then I got that feeling I always used to get when I had awakened into a new universe. In this current world, my normally sweet wife was completely off her rocker. Even though one of the unavoidable side effects of the government's nano-virus is to kill my equanimous spirit and destroy any love I might have for other humans, I did try not to let it affect my close relationships. There was no repair today. To use an expression from my days on the colonial work crews, "everything has turned to shit".

Sometimes, I panic when I am stuck in these kinds of worlds, but I realize logically that things may change for the better. Emotionally, I know better. If I recover this personality, I hope I have transposed back to my original home. I hope I haven't forgotten my home--perhaps it never existed and I am doomed to wander forever.

The darkness is closing in, but these recordings seem to have a therapeutic effect on my thought life. Perhaps I will delete them when (or if) I recover.

May God have mercy.
From the underground--End Transmission.